Friday, June 22, 2012

Foggy

Fog.  An internal and external event.

Yesterday, I purged all my responsibilities, well-organized, listed, to my supervisors.  I have done the best I can, and surprisingly I am able to let go.  This letting go thing has taken me years to achieve.  When I first became aware that there was such a thing as "control issues," I spent the first part of that realization in acknowledgement, the second part in being irritated by it, and the last part in working to be relieved of it.  Not to say that it doesn't pop up now and then, but that for the most part, I am not plagued by it or its effects.  Relief.  Same goes for perfectionism, which is tied into it somehow.  All those survival habits are slowly dissipating.  I can be present and listen.

One thing I do like about my brain is this:  Daily, at some point, an image will appear in my mind of a place in France that we experienced.  Usually it's totally random, and each time the image fills me with an indescribable positive feeling.  This morning's location was the on ramp from Hendaye, just this side of the Spanish border, back onto the freeway.


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