So here is the saga, which is my search for perfection in schooling, exacerbated by my life-long, free-radical, control issues.
I won't go into it. It's boring. Let's just say that in my need to feel okay with what happened, I've been all sorts of reactive and doing damage control for the past week. If I don't think about it too much I'm okay, but then I start to think about all the people my decisions have affected and I feel like a big jerk.
I'm just going to have to live with that.