Thursday, October 16, 2008

Free to Be You and Me

Last night after working at the school, I drove to Pacifica and made some cakes in the kitchen at the back of a bowling alley. It was marvy! We made about 15 cakes, several pounds of Italian Meringue Buttercream, which by the way is quite stable and you can just beat the crap out of it and it never falls, at least it didn't last night, and some cream cheese frosting, which is actually 1:3 creamcheese: powdered sugar (if you wanted to know). I did that for four hours and then came home and crashed out.

Today I had the day off, but I went to visit a potential school for the kids. We like where they are, but it's public and comes with all that stuff I don't like about public school, mainly the lock-step that students have to conform to these days. It was wonderful, just like I thought it would be and it's only a two-block walk from 24th St. BART which is convenient for getting them to school.

Later today I drove to Palo Alto for some parent coaching at Jewish Family Services of the Peninsula. She told me that judging by my discription of the kids, I had not damaged them like I'd thought. We talked for an hour and she gave us a lot of good advice:

1. Let them be different and celebrate their differences. I know that, right? but I also don't know that. I spend a lot of energy trying to make them feel as good about everything as the other one feels, and that's kind of ridiculous (my words not hers) since that's never going to happen.

2. Spend time alone with each of them each day, and it's best if that time can be spent doing something they love to do or something they're really good at. It provides time for offering praise and coziness.

3. Don't play the referee. If they can't figure it out, they should both have time away from the activity, not just the one who got caught hitting, when the other one did all the provoking...ahem.

4. All moms have guilt, moms of twins have twice the guilt. Oh good.

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