Saturday, August 23, 2014

5 year diary

Beatrice and I went to the Gem Show at the Golden Gate Park County Fair building.  We then had  sushi lunch, a visit to the new Green Apple Books on the park (in the old Le Video building, which by the way also houses the remains of Le Video), and ended with a visit to Arizmendi Bakery.

I ate too many cookies, then had a nap.  I just had some coffee, and am going to go for a run with my friend Susan.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

The Gift of a Poem, For You...

The Party To Which You Are Not Invited, by Stephen Dunn

You walk in, your clothes dark
and strangely appropriate, an arrogance
about you as if you had a ramrod
for a spine. You feel posture-perfect.

When you speak, women move away.
You smile, and men see tombstones.
They think they know who you are,
that they could throw you out

as they could one man. But today you are
every man who has been omitted
from any list: how quickly they see
they would have no chance.

You pour yourself a drink,
as if ready to become one of them.
Under your skin, nerve endings, loose
wires, almost perceivable. Something

somewhere is burning. You tell them
you’ve dreamed of moments like this,
to be in their lovely house,
to have everyone’s attention. You ask

of the children, are they napping?
You extend your hand to the host,
who won’t take it, reminds you
you were not invited, never will be.

You have things in your pockets
for everybody. House gifts.
Soon you’ll give them out.
If only they could understand

how you could be ruined
by kindness, how much
you could love them
if they knew how to stop you.

Friday, May 30, 2014

5th Grade Graduation

I cried.

I cried when I saw the teacher on the playground blacktop before the chairs were set up.  I cried once we sat down and I was reading the program.  Then I cried as the mistress and master of ceremony did a bi-lingual introduction of each speaker.  I cried when the principal spoke.  I cried when the violinist and flautist squeaked out their solos.  I cried when their teacher spoke, preached, and highlighted.  I cried when the other teacher inspired and motivated.  Finally, I cried when the whole class sang the acoustic guitar-accompanied rendition of "We are the World."

Tears for the past and the future.  For the squandered time, the mistakes, the yelling, the poor parenting.  For the daily overwhelm.  For the inability to remain present 24/7.  For not ever feeling like I was doing it right.  From vowing to be perfect from now on, and not succeeding.

May they be happy and successful in spite of me.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Mr. G.

When I am queen, all teachers will be like Mr. G, my kids' 5th grade teacher:

Dear Mr. G:

Where do I begin?  B and I feel incredibly fortunate that we happened upon Sutro, this hidden treasure of SFUSD, and more importantly, that our kids found you.

As an educator myself, I have unreasonably high standards and expectations for my kids' education experience.  They are so curious and naturally love learning, and I didn't want to see that squashed.  To say that you are an excellent and inspiring teacher, is only the beginning.  You provided a warm, open, and inviting environment for learning from the very first day.  You ensured safety and respect in both your interactions with I and B, and their peers with them, and each other.  Your projects and assignments were thoughtful and engaging, and the service learning opportunities along with the wide variety of field trips brought their education out into this beautiful and rich city of ours.

If someone had asked me to describe an ideal teacher and classroom - I would describe you and your room, and your teachings.

I and B looked forward to school every.  single.  day.  and they have expressed their sadness at this time coming to an end. 

Thank you Mr. G!!  You are the kind of teacher every child hopes to have.

With much thanks and great appreciation,
Megan and B.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Fear, discomfort, return

“What gives value to travel is fear. It is the fact that, at a certain moment, when we are so far from our own country … we are seized by a vague fear, and an instinctive desire to go back to the protection of old habits … this is why we should not say that we travel for pleasure. There is no pleasure in traveling, and I look upon it more as an occasion for spiritual testing … Pleasure takes us away from ourselves in the same way as distraction, in Pascal’s use of the word, takes us away from God. Travel, which is like a greater and a graver science, brings us back to ourselves.” - Albert Camus

Changes

Well, well, well.  Both kids are sick; Bryan's flight was delayed, so no formal 15k for me.  Plan is to run when Bryan lands, and after I pick up the other runners and drop them in their perspective spots.

I think I've had my moment.

My kids are super-creative play-ers.  Right now I can hear them in Ike's room narrating their Lego-playing with voice-overs and background information.  There is dialogue interspersed throughout. 

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Pie

Home for a couple of days, fully in charge.  Both kids are sick, and so being the one, I got two extra days off of work this week.  The first day I got 932749247509 things done.  The second day, I got 1 thing done and sat on my ass, napped, and generally hung out.  Didn't get a chance to run.  It's foggy and wintry, which lends itself to staying indoors.  Hoping I can dodge this cold/flu until after tomorrow's 15k race.


Monday, January 06, 2014

So Many Books

I have a stack of books I'm reading/about to read:
Introvert
Born to Run
4-Hour Body
Vagabonding
Hold Onto Your Kids

Saturday, January 04, 2014

Light

Bridge Gobernador Nobre de Carvalho, Macau (wikimedia)
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Are your feet dipped in lead, Virgo? If not, then why is it so damn hard to move? Are you spent? A worry stone rubbed down to a small groove? Do you feel like you’ve been trying your best and falling short? Is your ratio of emotional risk to emotional breakdown 1:1? If your relationships feel saturated in conflict and miss-communication, take heart, Mars is haunting you and it’s not your fault. And don’t forget Pluto stripping you down to your most vulnerable. Oh look, Capricorn’s all get some balance and things will be fine. WHERE DOES ONE GET BALANCE? Breathe deep, Virgo. It’s one leaden foot at a time and before long you’ll be human again, I promise. Not just human but a human with the power to create beauty in the world. We need you, Virgo, come back to us.  (via the hairpin)

Nice.  Now let's see if we can get through February and March with out falling into mid-winter depression and anxiety this year.


Wednesday, January 01, 2014

"Full Scale Battle"

The kids spending the first of the year playing with a variety of Legos.

Walking back from coffee just now, saw a woman breast feeding her twins who were dressed like little lambs.  Been there lady.  It gets easier!